Self Portrait

So this is me.

– Socially Awkward

– Dream Stricken

– Self-Conscious

– Quite

I am just the average teenager.

I am not much to look at and think too much. This may sound familiar, It’s the story of so many all over the world.

Some-days I feel lucky and privileged that I was born in a good family and 1st world country, but when I forget and drama gets ahead of me, I feel lost and damaged.

I dream to escape from reality. I have dreams of travel, success, love and owning a business.But much like many adults my dreams may be lost or just remain dreams never to really be lived out.

This is me, nothing special or unique. Just a small town girl with big town dreams.

Just the typical teenager.

help?

i am 168 cm tall (or there bouts) and weigh 53.3 kg.
i have started going to the gym as i recently discovered i had gained 2 kg.
i am considering weight-loss pills but they scare me, this whole sudden obsession with my weight scares me. It only started when i became vegetarian and was watching my weight so i don’t get sick, but even now (when i’m not vegetarian) i’m still watching it.
i have this goal/idea in my head that if i weigh 49 kg i will be better, i will have more confidence and suddenly be happy.
does this sound incredibly stupid? or lame?
do i need help?
is weight-loss pills the right thing?
i am too scared to talk to a doctor or my parents so i’m hoping this will help.

im not a very good artist, id bearly call myself an artist. its just a hobbie but id like to share this on with you.

I’m frightened that i wont be happy with myself until i look like the girl in this photo.                                                                                           

anorexia.

I know its un-healthy, i know it will kill me but i feel dirty, fat, ugly, i feel like i need to loose the weight but i don’t want to be anorexia but i’m scared that that is what i’m becoming.
i can’t ask for help, if i could i wouldn’t be typing is anonymously.

I know these is thousands of boy’s and girl’s just like me and if you are one of them, i’d love to heard from you…

We all need help sometimes. 

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It’s like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It’s like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It’s like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It’s like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It’s like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It’s like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You’re dead, and dead, and dead indeed

Re-Gaining Unconsciousness

 First they put away the dealers, keep our kids safe and off the street. Then they put away the prostitutes, keep married men cloistered at home. Then they shooed away the bums, then they beat and bashed the queers, turned away asylum-seekers, fed us suspicions and fears. We didn’t raise our voice, we didn’t make a fuss. It’s funny there was no one left to notice when they came for us.

 

 

“There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart’s desire, the other is to gain it.”

-George Bernard Shaw

i believe Shaw was wrong, yeah to lose your hearts desire is tragic and its painful but to gain it, its what we live for, what any of us can hope for even if it is only for a moment a second we can feel what its like to have our heart desire. that, that isn’t tragic and if we can get that one thing even if we lose it at least we can say we had it.

-Emily

Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some would be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?

First Post

so this is my very first post and blog. i have no clue what to write. i could talk about me, but i’m not that interesting. i have certain views on the world which you may or may not agree on… i’ll make a list for you.

things i hate:

poverty, the poor dying because they can’t afford the medical treatment, the fact that ‘boat people’ are hating on them only because they are escaping terrible living conditions or even death, homeless, abuse, hate and pain. thats all i can think of right now.

things i love:

nature, animals, people laughing, love, happiness, music, movies, man made beauty, traveling, flying on a plane, taking photos, driving anywhere, reading, watching clouds pass, watching sunsets and shopping with friends! (thats all i can think of)